Wagner's Writings

         Gotta love my consistency on these blogs. The beauty of having a small audience is that you know that I do this solely for me. I would do this a whole lot more if I simply had the time for it. I'm a busy guy, but in a good, healthy way and not one where my responsibilities possessed me and wears a "Cody" name tag. So I thought I'd give a little update from this past month or so.      One lesson I've learned recently is I've really got to chill the fuck out. I'm such a worry wart who expects the worst. I always worry about going to the doctor's in particular. Being a diabetic and living in a pretty tense time while not doing my best on dieting, I always have this thought that death is an inevitability. With recent losses in my life, that worry is not so far-fetched, although quite an extreme. One little ache in my heart and I'm all, "Whelp that's it for me. Peace." A great attitude for a twenty-six year old, right? Some do say...

      Rather than a blog about some topic I thought I'd plop down for story time. I've been circling over notes over a few projects I'm working on (one mustn't have just one project on their plate) and came across research notes on a novel I wanted to be my first novel. I see this as a good opportunity to reveal a little bit on the writing process and the lessons learned when a project falls through.       Spoiler: You've got to pick yourself up and keep on moving with the next one.      I've started kicking around the idea of writing a novel for many, many years. The seeds of that were sprouting in my head starting in middle school but never really ventured out from the short stories that I was writing. In high school I've had a few jump starts but never anything came of those ideas either. It wasn't until late 2017 early 2018 that I had seriously considered writing a full length book. At that point, I've written quite a bit of short st...

     It's the second month of a new year and I've already tripped up on some goals I've set for myself. Most likely the cause is some mixture of self-sabotage and the catharsis of "finishing" something. I'll explain that in a bit.      So for 2022, I've had a couple goals in mind. First, I wanted to write fifty-two short stories a week - one for each week of the year. Last week was the first one I've missed. Now this week I'm currently scrambling to write two stories as to not let myself slip away entirely. This is in junction with other writing projects I'm juggling (as I always do).      Secondly, I also wanted to do this blog thing more consistently. The silence really speaks for itself on that one. The reasoning for that one is a little more psychological than running out of time for a small piece of fiction. If you know me, it's hard not to tell that I get inside my own head a lot. Typical cliches of the "suffering artist" - ...

 1.21.22       2022 really had to go and take my man Meat Loaf, fucking Robert Paulson, like that? The dad in Tenacious D's The Pick of Destiny?!?! Damn...      I'll be honest for a moment. This death really brought me down a notch or two. I really admired him and his work from his albums to his film work. Really fantastic artist in my eyes and a real influence on me being a heavy set guy. Article #2 for 2022 was me going to be gushing over the Moon Knight trailer and my connection with that character, but Meat Loaf takes higher importance.      I was once a young hungry pre-teen who dug around everywhere for rock music to discover and digest. I have no idea if it was my Mom or Dad's but I came across a burned CD for "Bat Out of Hell." I wasn't immediately pulled into it with it being a little intimidating with having seven songs with a forty-six minute runtime. Damn those are some hefty songs. This was a point before I sunk my teet...

     So I totally thought I would keep up with article posts in 2021. Turns out that was a (hash)pipe dream because one has to be baked out of their freaking mind if they think they can start up a blog when the world seemed to be falling apart. Oops. That's my bad.      I was cautious about the new year and all that. That being resolutions always go by the wayside, and you know, in the midst that world not functioning at 100%, I can't say I blame anyone, including me. However, being a couple weeks in I feel rather... good for once? I still have all my problems (depression, an unhappiness about my current stage of where I am as a person), but I think I have quite a handle of things as well as I can manage at the moment.      I beat myself up in the past for not writing as much as I should, not interacting with people as much as I should, not being in a career I want for myself, and because I'm a nerd who should give me his lunch money. That's ...

 " A Marvelous Dream" I've had a marvelous dream. I've seen so much destruction in a small bite of time. However, recently I felt this change passing by like a breeze.  I had a dream where I was creating, giving more than what could be destroyed.  And in that dream,  I held onto seeds, mere ideas of what this world could be. And in that dream,  I held a smile that no force could destroy That I lived in a world that was good and worth fighting for. Today, that dream turned into an idea waiting to see the real.  Hide that seed, until it's too late and grows beyond reach.  When the idea cannot be destroyed. When a dream turns into a dream that you could touch. When that smile cannot be wiped away. That dream there is mine, And I will let it grow in the same breeze,  that same calling of change that gave life to it As a marvelous dream turns into an idea, An idea that I see beginning to bloom.

I had intended on doing Inktober this year, buuuuut again, projects got in the way. See a common theme here?  So here we have not drawings, but small 100-word stories. I figured my drawings skills weren't up to snuff so I just wrote goofy stories with Inktober 2020's prompts. Some are totally finished. Some are just ideas. Some came to me quicker than others. Some didn't come to me at all. But hey, content is content. So here you go. Enjoy.    #1 FISH - “Bait”  They met out in a secure spot that was agreed upon for a first date. Somewhere quiet, somewhere that would keep a secret if things should go wrong. With a lure, the target was hooked and reeled in. He had pulled up and approached the door only to find a note. “Come meet me up stairs ;)” So he did. The only room with a light on had steam steeping out from the crack of the door. He opened it to find a true horror swimming in the bathtub; someone who wasn’t who they said we were. The lie laying the tub cried as i...