Setting Goals - Show, Don't Tell

    It's the second month of a new year and I've already tripped up on some goals I've set for myself. Most likely the cause is some mixture of self-sabotage and the catharsis of "finishing" something. I'll explain that in a bit. 

    So for 2022, I've had a couple goals in mind. First, I wanted to write fifty-two short stories a week - one for each week of the year. Last week was the first one I've missed. Now this week I'm currently scrambling to write two stories as to not let myself slip away entirely. This is in junction with other writing projects I'm juggling (as I always do). 

    Secondly, I also wanted to do this blog thing more consistently. The silence really speaks for itself on that one. The reasoning for that one is a little more psychological than running out of time for a small piece of fiction. If you know me, it's hard not to tell that I get inside my own head a lot. Typical cliches of the "suffering artist" - depressive episodes, feeling of inadequacy, the need to isolate from my friends, low self-esteem, the need to look for approval... Damn, I'll stop there to avoid making myself feel bad. 

    But that's the life of a creative, that feeling when you make fake scenarios in your head but end up hurting your own actual feelings, but like, constantly. 

    This isn't to look for pity or comfort. Oh no, my friends, it's to fix what's wrong. Not the self-esteem thing because that's going to require many, many (Christ, so many) sessions of therapy. Instead, I'll extrapolate on what I think hinders us on our goals and how to stick more closely to our initial plan without throwing it away entirely. 

    Keep in mind this is just to accommodate for the way I personally operate. I know people who are real go getters and have their own way of achieving things more efficient. I'm not that way, as I even know jump between this serious article and binging Ryan Hollinger videos and why The Pyramid (2014) sucked. I'm a man whose drive likes to take long routes and detours. Life is a journey, not a destination as they say and I take my sweet ass time. 

1. Plans Should Be More Fluid, More Vague - The more specific and concrete a goal is, the more likely it is to fuck it up. My reasoning from my experience is perhaps it feels like the road narrows as the image of what you want becomes more clearer. Then it leads to a suffocating feeling that comes with tunnel vision on ideas. 

    That's when self-sabotage comes in, too when one just veers off the road rather than reaching the finish line because one has fear not because they're a 'perfectionist', but because they're afraid of how their best is going to be perceived, but stick to the vagueness, and you'll carry on as you normally do. 

    Anyone's goal who's like me, living the looseness of life, their goal should be *vaguely gestures everywhere*. It's simple, vague, and up to interpretation, so much so no one can tell you nothin'. Spoken like a true annoying, Deep™ artist. Now you're on your way!  

2. Don't Talk About It - It seems counterproductive when you want to have your peers, family, and friends in your corner to cheer you on, but I think keeping hush hush about what you really want to do. At the end of the day, a goal is a personal one and the only one you need to stay true to is yourself. Only if your personality type will grow in this mindset or not, of course. 

    What I mean by that is that when I say something out loud, it gives me this catharsis that happens when I write an outline as opposed to actually writing a story fully. I say it like I've done it without actually having done it because of where my intentions lie. But I... didn't actually progress anywhere. All I have is a outline with points of where I was going to go instead of where I went. I cheated in a sense, and you cannot have your cake and eat it too when you've given yourself the feel good feeling without putting in all the raw work. 

    And I cannot have cake since I'm a Type-1 diabetic, but that's beside the point. Keep to the work and celebrate when that final word has been typed out. 

3. Friggin' Relax a Little, My Dude™ - Easier said than done, yeah? Totally. When someone figures this one out, let me know. In all seriousness, it's when an unhealthy pressure is put on us do we feel to self-destruct and abandon something. They say diamonds form when coal is put under pressure. Yes, but yeast rises when you let it rest. Some are diamonds, some are yeast, and it's okay if require pressure or not - as long as it's healthy and within your limits of what you can handle. Be kind to yourself, we get nowhere when it's all punishment and not allowing to enjoy the reward of the fruits of labor. 

    But if you tell me to follow my own advice, I will throw up and precisely not do the self positive talk thing. I'm the suffering artist, remember? And a hypocrite! (Please take this in jest, I don't need anyone DMing me if I'm okay or not)  

    I really hope one, at least one person takes a piece of this, even if it's only a little, and they gets closer to what they're going for than to when they started. In turn it helps me in return to achieving my goals as well. I'm in a depressive slop myself at the moment and trying not to let it get to me. I'd like to lead my life as I do my writing - to be additive, and not destructive; always give, not take away. We're in all in this dark, depressive soup together and I'd rather we all see us at our finish lines than to veer off our roads. 

    But remember - we are all on different roads and all will require our own ways of reaching the end.