(Don't) Fear 30

Give 'er take, a week ago I turned 30. Happy birthday to me, I guess. It's a milestone from what I told, not that I felt it. To be honest, I’m going through a period of indifferent numbness since mom died. She didn’t sign her name on my card this year. That was rough. Her absence is felt everyday, but talking about it is so exhausting. To be honest the only thing that bugged me hitting 30 is that she wasn’t here to see it. 

But I still persist. It’s this weird thing I’ve come to know about me. I can wallow in my pain and sorrow, but as soon as a friend matches my level, I’m all like, “Hey man, it’s going to be alright :),” whilst dying inside. That’s just me. :))) 

Anyways, enough about me. Who cares? The crux for what I wanted to do was talk to my younger friends. This is to anyone from say, 18 - 29 years old. A LOT of them have this anxiety of turning 30. I totally get it. It’s a new decade. It’s “old.” I’ve always been laxed on the topic myself. There’s a few reasons for that, I think. Here I’ll list them out from seriousness? Just to understand where my mind’s at. 

1. It’s just a number. It’s fine. It’s relatively a smaller number than 100, yeah? 

2. I feel I’m ‘growing’ into my 30’s better than my 20’s. Like some sort hermit crab on age. I’m growing into my ‘old soul’ type personality. I think that’s an adult’s way to tell a kid they need to lighten the fuck up. I’m still learning. This dog can learn new tricks! 

3. I’ve talked to a lot of friends in their 30+’s and they nearly ALL say that 30 is when you get comfortable as a person and how their 20’s was a large source of anxiety and struggle in general. 

4. In line of #3, I notice that all creatives I adore, they FIRST published their earliest works when they were in the late-20’s and early 30’s. That’s when they started! You first have to learn to be a person before tackling a competent work I guess. They say you have all your life to write your first novel and about two years for the second one. We’re still fledglings at 30. It ain’t the finish line. 

5. Psychologically, I’m sure hitting 30 does something to someone that triggers that awareness that one day we’ll all die. And yeah, we’re all going to shuffle off this mortal coil one day, but in your 30’s? Probably not. Probably. There’s still plenty of time and it’ll felt longer if we can chill the fuck out about it. 

6. I think the reason most of us fear 30 is the idea of the lost potential starting at this age. Too late to do this… too late to do that… Is it? You’re still living, ain’t ya? Then it’s not too late! Go do the thing! Unless it’s a “Become Bestest Quartback” sort of thing. Then yeah, it’s a little too late. 

These are just a few reasons that I assume are bugging my friends. And I sincerely say this, it’s going to be alright. My 20’s wasn’t shit. I did some gigs. I wrote some stories. I watched some cool movies. Guess what I’ll be doing in my 30’s? You got it, man. The same shit, this time just a little more tired than the last decade. 

One mindset that really helped me out is this: God forbid you died tomorrow, but someone will read your obituary and read, “So and so died at the age of [insert your current age]. Really? But [insert name] was only [insert your current age]. Far too young to die!” Try it out. 26. 30. 42. 50. Probably all too young to have the expectation of death come as a given. If you’re reading this, you’re too young to die. If you’re too young to die, than you’re still young enough to get out there and change your trajectory, still. It takes effort but so do all that’s worthwhile is. 

Hope that helps a little bit. If not, you’ll be 30 anyway, but you’ll know what to do to traverse the new territory. You’re smart enough. Hell, even sexy enough. Stay the course and embrace the age. It comes for us all but ain’t no skeleton in a black robe going to greet you just for turning 30. Unless you died. But that’s just circumstantial, I promise. 

To 30 and the next 30, and if we’re lucky another 30. Much love!