Hope is an Eldritch Horror

            Where is hope? Man, everyday it’s getting harder to find it with the search getting longer. To find solace. To find peace. Hope; It’s something that’s been misplaced in recent memory. I used to believe in goodness and that everything would turn out alright in the end. With recent news and a sickness in my family, the sense of doom and dread permeates seemingly all around me, crushing me with an unbearable weight. What a cruel world is being said less ironically by me with each passing day. Hope is something lost on me recently, but I came to a realization: Hope exists whether I like it or not. Bad things will eventually unravel given enough time. 

I had this revelation recently. That hope is a thing that’ll always exist with the likes of war, love, hate, and, God willing, peace. In Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy, a vile character of Judge Holden says this on war, “War was always here. Even before man was, war waited for him. The ultimate trade awaiting its ultimate practitioner.” Messed up character. Very haunting quote. I think of hope and opportunity like that in a way. That it was some alien concept that awaited us, even before we were here. And that’ll be here long after any of us are gone. 

All must pass as they say. This too shall pass as they also say.  

I don’t recall who had said it, but someone pointed out a truth I hadn’t considered when faced with hopeless situations. That it does get better eventually. It’s all just a matter of time. Whether or not in our lifetimes we will see it just depends on the situation. Every good and bad situation shall erode, and chances are the good shall remain. 

A political situation eventually resolves in decades, long after those responsible could be held accountable. Whether a law that’s necessary to better its people, may take decades, but will eventually reach resolve. Any heartache inflicted by grief or hardships or death will cease, too someday. Any bad thing or hardship will be evened out in say, 100 years, you know? It can be replaced by some other horrible thing, but that too will not last. It just depends how long. Think you can wait it out?

I think of hope like a form of Eldritch horror. Inescapable, always lurking, and ever-present. That hope remains this thing of not just as a human concept, but an absolute, even in the faces of the darkest pessimists. Hope is a force that cannot be stopped and is inevitable. 

That must bring some comfort, right? Something along the lines of a sun will rise again in the morning bringing in another tomorrow. That’s some hopeful imagery, right? 

I know the first half there read as some sort of suicide note, but fear not. A lot of bad things happen in life. That is one swing of the pendulum. Next must come the second swing in the form of something pretty good. Either that or all those early years of reading the Tao Te Ching poisoned my mind. Could be that, too. 

It’s just something above my pay grade. I, myself can only do so much. The overarching force that is humanity luckily doesn’t rely solely on my cooperation, nor will, so my thought is to surrender to something that I cannot control. Easier said than done, but I definitely feel all more the better. Sometimes. And if you took at least a little bit of hope out of this then my job is done. At least a little? A guy could try at least, right? This article is mainly for myself, but that’s beside the point. 

I said I used to believe in goodness and that everything would turn out alright in the end. And I do sometimes, especially in times of great despair. Then I would deep a little deeper and find that no matter how dark things may get, I must admit something. That I still believe in goodness and that everything will turn out alright in the end. I hope that my life may be of some good. To some at least. I know hope still exists. And I hope that it may find me before I check out of this constant struggle. 

So take a deep breath with me, hold it for a second, and let it out. It’s going to be fine; whether you’d like that or not.