ISOLATIONIST: The Origin and the Process (So Far)

    In June, I'll be releasing a chapbook, a mini collection of poems, called ISOLATIONIST. I'm writing this because I wanted to say thanks to all the kind words and anticipation for this little book of mine and to explain a little bit on the whole process and how this all came to be. 

    When I had this idea nugget of mine for a poetry chapbook I didn't expect much out of it with the exception of a couple friends here and there, but when I announced the thing I really felt the love. Especially quite a few people asking for, um... physical copies??? And I'm out here thinking nobody would want to read it period, let alone something to hold in their mitts! 

    I didn't expect that. Cool stuff, man. It really warms my heart. So if you're anticipating this as much as I am, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! And I love you. 

    So, I gotta talk about my book, I guess. Let's see how the sausage is made. I apologize in advance for how real it's about to get, but I am an honest man and I will not self-censor for someone else's comfortability. 

"So, How's the Book Coming, Man?" 

I'm finishing up the poems to be written at the moment and will spend all of May smoothing out all the rough patches in it and then actually printing it off and assembling them all the physical copies myself. A lot to do, but it's a labor of love people, and I'm digging the whole process. 

"Isolationist? A Little on the Nose Isn't It, Guy?" 

    Yes, Isolationist. Speaks for itself, really. And I don't need your damn sass. I'd say every year since 2016ish has sucked hard, but 2018 - present day has just been a real kick in the nuts to say the least. I'm a guy that has a real hard time dealing with depression, loneliness, a continuing sense of existential dread and uselessness, suicidal thoughts, and all that good stuff. It's really jarring when all those feelings clash with my senses of hope, faith in the good in people in general, pure unfiltered love, happiness, euphoria after a really, really good superhero flick, the works. 

    This is also the aftermath after a near-death experience I experienced, nearly checking into a crisis center (that's a spicy story for another day), poopy relationships that fell through, and the deaths of close friends and family in that time.  I don't really have friends I can freely chat about the experiences above because I've gotten some... interesting responses that've turned me off to opening up to people. Directly at least. That and I'm typically not an open person unless someone asks anyway. 

    So, I channeled a way I can express myself without having a friend deal with that dense, un-welcomed weight: Writing poetry and little stories here and there. And a majority of them centered around the theme of isolation and loneliness. It seemed like it had prepared itself when I took a step back and carefully looked at all I've written amongst, say, +50 or so completed pieces? It was all set. 

    So throughout the past couple of years I've accumulated enough poems to make a few chapbooks out of. Since I won't get ahead of myself, I'll say I'm completing ONE chapbook and thought, "Y'know, it's time to add 'published' to my writer tag." Even if it's self-publishing.

"Isn't Therapy a Better Option at this Point in Time?" 

    Damn right, but in America (mental) health care is basically deemed a luxury and I'm just a dude that works at Walmart during a recession. However, Stephen King has this quote on why he writes horror, and I'm paraphrasing: "Instead of paying for therapy, we write down these horrific stories and you pay us!" I really dig that approach. Until I can actually afford one these horrific stories and melancholic poems will have to do. 

"Why Self-Publishing?" 

    Because publishing poems seems like a hassle to be blunt. You gotta go through the process of getting accepting/rejecting by publishers/magazines/anthologies several times over, they get a cut of that fat cash of a flat fee of either $20 - $100 a pop, if you get paid at all, then you gotta do the whole thing over again. Not interested in that for simple poetry I got cooking. Short stories and novellas are a different battle I'm willing to fight. 

    In August, 2021 I submitted my first poem to the first Erie Country Poetry Anthology the local library was doing after a friend had recommended I go for it. The Call to Adventure: I took it. In October it got accepted. As of now, April, 2022, the logistics are still up in the air and I haven't seen it in print yet, but it got the gears turning for my writing career. 1/1 on submissions, pretty cool, right? Wondered what else I could do with the material I've been sitting on.  So I thought, "Fuck it, I can do my own mini book myself and reap all the benefits: success or failure, it'll be all me." In 2017, I saw all these heaps of bulk paper on clearance so I thought since I was a writer, I'd need all that eventually. So I bought around 5,000+ pieces of paper gathering dust in my room, waiting for the right moment. Cut to 2022: We're in business, baby. Chekhov's Gun has nothing on Wagner's Paper, am I right? I had the materials, I had the written material, it's prime time for me to do it. 

"Will There be Physical Copies?" 

    I just said I had 5,000+ pieces of paper, man. Of course there'll be physical copies! There will just be a set payment for it. 

"So... What's the Plan Exactly?" 

    The Plan at this moment is one of the following: 

    1.  DIGITAL - PAY WHAT YOU WANT: Want to donate $5? $50? $1,000? Or... Absolutely nothing? It's yours! if you want it for free, it's 100% on me. I just want people reading my poems period. It's not about the money. 

    2. PHYSICAL COPY: $5 + $5 SHIPPING: Since the production of it with the manual labor will cost me some, there is a set price to cover the costs. Plus, this'll come with a handwritten thank you letter from yours truly. Plus I can sign the chapbook if you so desire. All you have to do is shoot me a message of what you want. 

    3. PHYSICAL COPY + SILLY DOODLE: $10 + $5 SHIPPING: I've gathered many a silly doodles over the years so if you're feeling spicy, if you're feeling really supportive and want my love, you can grab a copy of the book and get a silly drawing with it at random. It could be of a monkey, Jon Snow, Kermit the Frog, or something equally dumb in my cartoonish style I've got going on. 

It won't be complicated either, I'll just drop a PayPal link and a pdf for all to download so there isn't an arduous process. Download the pdf and either you donate a buck or two or you don't, just have a good time reading. 

"What'll You Do with the Mad Bank You'll Be Making?"

    I'll hardly be making a lot out of this, I assure you. Whatever donations I do get will go straight back into creative projects. I hope to one day to be self-sufficient to continue working on things without taking a huge blow to the wallet. I lied, my dream is be so self-sufficient that I can focus on my creative works and quit my job. Now THAT would be lovely. It brings me peace beyond your understanding, really. 

"What're Your Future Plans?" 

    I've got my eyes on more poetry, some prose stuff I've got cooking, or even some comic book stuff I'm working on with a friend that we could finally pull the trigger on. I've got two more themes of chapbooks I'd like to do later this year and in 2023 if this goes really well. (Hint, Hint: Halloween seems an appropriate time for all things spooky, no?) That'd be cool wouldn't it? If THOSE are successful, I'll do a compiled book of it all and maybe a small press of a couple novellas, work on a couple film scripts. Until then I will set sail on the publishing world with short stories and all that good stuff. Perhaps work on a novel when I'm really confident in my writing skills. The future looks bright, my friend! 

    If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask. Thank you again for your eagerness and giving me a sense of an audience. As a fledgling writer, it really warms my heart and I'm eternally grateful. Stay tuned for another (hopefully shorter) update on ISOLATIONIST. Coming June 9th (give or take), 2022, baby.